But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9
It's been a while since I posted, and I'd like to give you an update. Leading up to Easter, I had some very moody days, partly because the fast I was doing became harder at the end, but thankfully, I was able to see it though.
And then, the week leading up to Easter is very meaningful, but sad for me as I contemplate all the suffering Jesus went though in order to save us. My church created wonderful Maundy Thursday and Good Friday services, but while they were beautiful, they too were sad.
And then , I do have bi-polar illness, so times of depression are bound to happen. Unfortunately, sometimes they interfere with my faith life. I often don't write or feel creative. In these times too, I feel inadequate to receive God's love, and sometimes forget about grace.
Quoting from the Message Bible, the same scripture I started this post with, God says: "My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness."
And I cling to that. In this passage of the Word, Paul is speaking of how easy it is to boast, and how God gave him a handicap to cause him to be more humble. I can relate to that. Sometimes I boast more than I should, not keeping in secret the "good deeds" I perform. Maybe God is settling me down a bit when I get these moods. But I have found a wonderful Psalm, actually a prayer that sustains me, and reminds me that God is my refuge.
O Lord, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief....The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in darkness like those long dead. So my Spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed." Psalm 143:1,3-4
In the same Psalm, verse 8 I read, "Let the morning bring me your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. "
So I look to the morning in the midst of my despair. I know that with God, the morning will come. I will rise up out of this cave, and once again, God's spirit will surge within me. Until then, God's grace is sufficient.
Have a wonderful blessed day.